The Countdown to Homecoming

You know those scenes in Finding Nemo where Dory is singing to Merlin- “When life gets ya down, ya know what ya gotta do? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...” And then after the reunion with Nemo where they explain if the fish that got caught in the net just keep swimming down, they’ll be free? I keep telling myself that during this deployment. Almost every time I have found myself feeling completely overwhelmed, those scenes/singing have popped into my head! Sometimes it’s made me laugh and sometimes it’s made me almost feel a little crazy, but now look? There’s literally only 2 days and a few hours left in this month. Some people ask, “Well, how do you do it?” I guess I didn’t realize I had a choice not to- I mean the consequences of not doing it wouldn’t be pretty. I know that for fact. For the most part, I just keep doing what I need to do and try to keep a positive attitude most of the time. Except, sometimes I’ve had to remind myself that I literally can...

I skipped church today! Eeek- I dropped all the kids off and made arrangements with my sister-in-law. I drove to meet my friend for lunch and a movie. We actually went to a later one and had time in between so we got more talking and Target browsing time in too! And I figured, why not throw a chai tea in from Starbucks as well. Hmmm, almost 7 hours away from all the kids, and I feel human again. You’d think with the kids at school during the week, I wouldn’t need it, but despite how much I love cuddle time with Holden, I do well with some space! When Dennis is home, I’ve decided I will give myself at least a couple hours every week. Did I mention the pad Thai? It was so delicious. That perfect balance of sauce and noodles. Mmmmm Now that I’m back to “normal, I am feeling a bit remorseful about stripping Annika’s room. I took everything out. I told her I would return with a clean sheet, blanket, and pillow. I also told her that if she continued this- I was debating a bonfire. Ahhhhhh-...

We’re here, we’re to that point in the deployment when I need to ask myself, “Where am I at?” “What do I still need to do before Dennis gets home?” Time is going by fast, yet I still have time to get a few things accomplished. I decided I won’t be attempting to change the color of the kitchen cabinets. At first, I told myself I would do what I want because I’m in charge here. I told myself “A happy wife is a happy life!” Even if Dennis said he doesn’t want the cabinets changed, he will realize he was wrong when he realizes how much happier it makes me. I’ve decided that was wrong and for whatever reason he doesn’t want them changed, I can live with that. So, as for the house being changed when he gets home- the only things different will be an unfinished paint job in the living room, (I’ve decided to wait until the kids quit leaving writing utensils around for Holden to finish...) blinds put up by Tim, and our beautiful table. Oh, and about 500 bags of donated stuff. I guess it’s enoug...

Well, it’s been over a month... I think I’ve been more faithful to post statuses on Facebook instead of sitting down to write more here. Anyway, another month has gone by realatively fast. The kids have been taken to a movie by Stephanie and Henry one weekend and bowling, park, and pizza by Jennifer another this month. We went to Fargo to celebrate Alexis’ birthday at Skyzone as well. And now Halloween is almost here. The kids are so excited for our church party. The theme is Under the Sea. We’ll have Ellie as Ariel and Annika as a sister mermaid. Sofia was finally convinced to be a crab. Holden will be Flounder, Christian Eric, and I will go as Ursula. Ellie and Annika both have real costumes, the rest of us will just throw some stuff together to be “good enough.” 😜 I also get to help in Sofia’s classroom. I’m wondering what Holden will think of all the fun?! In other exciting news, we got our forever table delivered today. This maple beauty is easily the  nicest thing in our...

So yesterday I posted about the bread and rolls I baked on Facebook. On the way to deliver them, Sofia squished the bread- majorly. I was so upset about it. I messaged Dennis this morning and said- "My life is like this bread! I work on it and spend a good chunk of my time and then bam- 2 seconds later it's all 'messed up!'"After I sent the message, I felt so convicted about complaining. I waited so long for these beautiful children. I cried so many tears just wanting a chance to be a mom. And here I am now so far removed with a whole herd who are 11, 9, 7, 5, and 18 months! Usually I am good to be extra thankful for Holden after my multiple miscarriages, but the others? So often I'll catch myself only seeing the "burdens" and not the multiple blessings! All the messes, all the fighting, all the needs. Sometimes I find it all soooo overwhelming! But I need to just stop. Just breathe. Just be so thankful for these kids I've been entrusted with- ...

We have made it over 2 months! I'm so excited and thankful. I kept telling myself if I could get the kids in school, time would fly. Yes- almost the first week is done, and I know everything will be going so fast now. The kids are already counting down to Hallelujah night at our church now. Speaking of being thankful, at first the thought of this deployment really freaked me out. I wasn't sure how it would go without my dad. And although I try to have a grateful attitude about people, I know before my dad died, I did tend to take things for granted. Or maybe I realized, but didn't outwardly show my appreciation as well. Now I try very hard not to take people in my life for granted. And with my dad being gone, I have gained an even bigger circle of people who have stepped in. I'm not saying I'm glad my dad is gone, or that I think he needed to be in order for me to learn these lessons... However, I do feel like I'm more open to finding positive things. I hope h...